What we say to others and how we offer it reveals our motives in many, if not most circumstances. Whether positive or negative, our communication experiences with others proves this out. Think about the last time someone shared something and although they couldn’t find all the words, we knew exactly what they meant and its positive message. Also consider a different conversation where certain words were used that seemed positive, but because of how they shared it, we realized their intent was not so much. Both point out one key thing – our communication impacts. The question becomes what kind of impact we want to have.
Give some thought to this statement…
Life-giving communication promotes mutual understanding (not necessarily mutual agreement), building and strengthening a relational bridge where ideas, strategies and perspectives can be valued and exchanged. MGF
Exchanging communication with someone normally reflects the present state of our perspective with them personally, the topic we are discussing or a circumstance affecting us both. Our ability to do so with purpose and clarity helps to frame our connections with understanding, even if opposite viewpoints are held. Understanding one another doesn’t have to mean always agreeing. The point comes down to what we are trying to build in our connections. For instance, if we want to be right, very little understanding will occur and the quality of our connections can diminish. In contrast, if you want deeper more sustained connections with greater understanding, it begins with wanting to build a “relational bridge”. What is the key building block of this kind of bridge? Valuing the other person and seeking to understand them and their perspective. Doing so makes being connected of utmost importance, sometimes more important than wanting to be right.
How can we strengthen our relationship-building communication skills? Here are few tips:
- Be purposeful to value your connection with others more than always needing or having something to say.
- Ask questions to invite the sharing of ideas, strategies and perspectives from those around you.
- Take time to stand in another’s vantage point to see what they are seeing.
- Look for details that are similar between their perspective and yours.
- If different, look for ways to speak value to someone else’s view.
- Express your gratitude to them for sharing and being honest towards you, and especially for your connection with them.
We choose daily what our personal communication is used for. Let’s decide to build relational bridges where connection with others is key for the purpose of mutual understanding. As we do, we will discover that our building in this way gives all of us a greater capacity to handle any circumstance that arises. Doing life together in this manner becomes more purposeful and centered with real and lasting impact.
Red Beryl Consulting 