August 30, 2023

Transforming Gratefulness

By Mark Francis

“Gratefulness removes our blindness to the wonders of other lives around us and our connection to them.” MGF

Every life represents exquisite possibility.

What about you? Do you believe this about yourself? About others? Our own answers determine our behaviors, particularly in our daily stories we write about others including ourselves. As leaders, how you answer is even more impactful because of your influence.

A look around in today’s world seems to reflect something different in most cases. Our individual lives are measured and judged almost always in some form or fashion. We don’t fit in for this reason, we have history that separates us, or we ourselves deem our lives “not worth it” to anyone else. The outcome leaves us experiencing something much less that wonderment about our lives or that of others.

What if that could be different? What if “we” could be different ourselves? We can be.  But it takes raising our gaze to a higher truth.

Leaders lead in a manner that connects to the vison they carry of those they serve. If we see exquisite possibility, even in the mess of failure, our leading will focus on a growth/building expression with these same people. But, if we focus on the mess of failure as the highest truth about their life, or even that which is most true in the moment, our vision for them becomes clouded more with “what is” than “what can be”. What can help us stay focused on the higher truths of exquisite possibilities? One way is transforming gratitude.

Authentic gratitude arises from authentic value for those which we are grateful for. As such, it needs expression to inform and ensure that others feel their worth. While certainly easier to offer with those we like or for positive life actions that mimic ours, this quality becomes more difficult with those we may dislike or had bad experiences with. But this difficulty becomes the refining fire for the deeper truth of our vision – can we see the exquisite possibility in their lives amidst all the mess or failure?

How do we grow transforming gratitude as a way of life? Here are a few thoughts:

  1. Understand what you value – The more you are aware of life-building qualities that are meaningful to you, the more your capacity to recognize them in others.
  2. Look for the Exquisite Possibilities – Despite circumstances, and even how you may be feeling, focus on looking more for “what can be” than “what is” in the situation.
  3. Share Your Gratefulness – Even if just one positive quality for that moment or circumstance, share your gratefulness for that detail.
  4. Reinforce Your Vision – When you think of others, remember your gratefulness, and focus your first memory on that before dealing with whatever else you need to address.
  5. Prioritize Daily – As a person, and especially as a leader, your positive influence will come from this consistent leadership expression.

Making gratefulness a daily priority connects your story to others in beautiful and wondrous ways that are truer than shortcomings. The mystery of these connections then enlarges our vision to see the wealth of value surrounding us in those we walk with, work with or engage with. As we make this a priority, what we see and experience in life will transform us and those we serve.

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August 19, 2025

Affirming Strengths

By Mark Francis

How true is this for you…

“We generally underplay the positive changes we can make with affirming the strengths of others, while overplaying the perspective that ‘things will never change’.” MGF

I say it this way as it seems easy for most to expect more negative than positive both at work and in our personal lives. Certainly, the negative dominates social media and news outlets. And, if we are honest, many of our conversations center around it too, especially when it comes to expecting positive change.

We can all help to make this different. It starts with that which we focus on and answering a core question about life — do we believe the positive and good around us is stronger than the negative and bad? Our answer fashions our expectations AND our hopes.

I personally believe our world is filled with much “good” (actually way more than our present perceptions), especially as it connects with others. I also believe that change is always possible when hope is joined with this vision. I say this in the face of what seems like the opposite circumstances around us. Into these circumstances, though, I believe there is much we each can give to each other gifts of goodness and hope. One of the best gifts is our belief in one another’s strengths and presence. I encourage you to make sharing affirmation like this a priority of your day. You matter, as does everyone we encounter. When we share this kind of affirmation, we elevate this worth in both us and others. Let’s work together to prove it.


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November 14, 2023

Relationship-Building Communication

By Mark Francis

What we say to others and how we offer it reveals our motives in many, if not most circumstances. Whether positive or negative, our communication experiences with others proves this out. Think about the last time someone shared something and although they couldn’t find all the words, we knew exactly what they meant and its positive message. Also consider a different conversation where certain words were used that seemed positive, but because of how they shared it, we realized their intent was not so much. Both point out one key thing – our communication impacts. The question becomes what kind of impact we want to have.

Give some thought to this statement…

Life-giving communication promotes mutual understanding (not necessarily mutual agreement), building and strengthening a relational bridge where ideas, strategies and perspectives can be valued and exchanged.  MGF

Exchanging communication with someone normally reflects the present state of our perspective with them personally, the topic we are discussing or a circumstance affecting us both. Our ability to do so with purpose and clarity helps to frame our connections with understanding, even if opposite viewpoints are held. Understanding one another doesn’t have to mean always agreeing. The point comes down to what we are trying to build in our connections. For instance, if we want to be right, very little understanding will occur and the quality of our connections can diminish. In contrast, if you want deeper more sustained connections with greater understanding, it begins with wanting to build a “relational bridge”. What is the key building block of this kind of bridge? Valuing the other person and seeking to understand them and their perspective. Doing so makes being connected of utmost importance, sometimes more important than wanting to be right.

How can we strengthen our relationship-building communication skills? Here are few tips:

  • Be purposeful to value your connection with others more than always needing or having something to say.
  • Ask questions to invite the sharing of ideas, strategies and perspectives from those around you.
  • Take time to stand in another’s vantage point to see what they are seeing.
  • Look for details that are similar between their perspective and yours.
  • If different, look for ways to speak value to someone else’s view.
  • Express your gratitude to them for sharing and being honest towards you, and especially for your connection with them.

We choose daily what our personal communication is used for. Let’s decide to build relational bridges where connection with others is key for the purpose of mutual understanding. As we do, we will discover that our building in this way gives all of us a greater capacity to handle any circumstance that arises. Doing life together in this manner becomes more purposeful and centered with real and lasting impact.

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May 5, 2023

Defining Consistency

By Mark Francis

All stories communicate both obvious and less obvious (sometimes hidden) details of events and circumstances serving as the framework for the story. The same is true of both our personal and work life stories. Also real are the stories we write as leaders. Even though we are the main authors of all our individual stories, something else can be truer and more impactful to our story as experienced by others – the degree of consistency we demonstrate with what we say and do through our lives.

Before we look at this a little closer, let’s get one false idea out of the way first. Consistency does not mean perfection. Instead, the quality of living life consistently involves our intentional efforts to behave in accordance to our internal values over time regardless of the circumstances. Intentional efforts start with both an understanding of what attitudes and actions I want to define me (the result of what I value), and then making the commitment to say and do just that. As you may guess, living in this way isn’t automatic. Rather, it is a practiced ownership of my life in the presence of others. Practiced in that it is a choice I make and ownership because I’m responsible for my all my actions.

As leaders, having our life consistency defined in this manner is even more important because of our potential impact on more people. Leadership consistency creates reasonable expectations about our behaviors (attitudes, ideas, and actions) with those we lead. These expectations are co-written by others in knowing how we will respond to circumstances. Let’s be clear though – consistency is a result, a reflective mirror for others to anticipate our attitudes and actions, whether positive and building, or negative and tearing down. We may think we are consistent and well thought of by those around us, but because they have been the recipient of our collective attitudes and actions OVER time, they have their own story of who we are. Our consistency or inconsistency from their vantage point tells the more accurate picture, and as the primary author of our personal story, having this perspective from others is a gift which we get to use or discard. What we choose to do with it determines whether our consistency grows or diminishes with the corresponding impact on others.

If perfection is not possible then, what happens when I’m inconsistent? First and foremost, how we handle it will determine whether we are building and strengthening our consistency or not. How does that work? Owning without excuse that we were inconsistent with our behaviors both with ourselves and/or others reinforces our attention and value for wanting to be consistent — a truth key of “confessing”. Doing so transforms that failure into a steppingstone of growth. For those around us, humility marks our interactions, and relational respect is strengthened as we honor those we failed with the truth of confession and ownership. In that place, relational integrity is maintained, and can be continued without an experience disconnection. It also gives permission to each of us to accept support and help to become better. If practiced faithfully, our personal consistency will increase and become more a part of our everyday lives.

In contrast, ignoring and not owning our failures of inconsistent behavior blinds us to ourselves and impacts those affected in opposite ways. Mistrust results as relational integrity and connection with them is damaged, with the potential for repair harder and harder without personal ownership.  Continued reinforcement here leads to less clarity of our actual behaviors and its effect on others. Ultimately, not only does our leadership come into question, but the negative impact on those we’ve led colors their connection with us. For leaders especially, trust and value for those we lead is everything, thus consistency is critical.

Our behavioral consistency, at a fundamental level, prescribes the level of trust others will be able to have with us, either as a person and/or as a leader. It represents a purposeful direction we choose to pursue for our life over a particular state or attainment level. Failing will happen but what we do with that will dictate growth and more consistency or increased personal brokenness and less consistency.  What will our on-going story from others say about us? We get to choose.

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January 10, 2023

Leadership Perspective

By Mark Francis

“What resides within finds its way out.” MGF

Our experiences – all of them—impact our hearts in profound ways. Whether dancing joys or weighty despair, each uniquely writes a storyline within us that can become the basis for our view of life. Here’s the thing…if the storyline written is the same or even somewhat similar across many experiences, we at some point can take it on as personal truth even when not accurate. Was the experience real? Yes. Is the truth from it accurate? Not necessarily. A brief story may help.

Grace started her new job with cautious excitement. Cautious because for most of her young life of 23 years, those closest to her spoke more of her mistakes and how big they were, more than encouraging her over her innate and unique gifts and strengths. In her heart, she believed that if her family and friends felt this way about her life, what would strangers at a new job feel? She expected more of the same and likely without any filter. So, she began her role waiting for the judgement to come, and even more so from leaders. However, to her bewildering surprise, her supervisor Jenna was different. From the first interaction, Jenna was endearing and encouraging, leaving Grace feeling seen and heard with great value. Over time, her experience at work began challenging the truth she had arrived with, namely, that her life was the sum total of her failures. Instead, she was beginning to believe that her real self was much more beautiful and wonderful, and that others thought so too. Jenna’s impact on Grace was profound all because a leader saw her for who she truly was and then acted on it with her words and actions. Jenna’s perspective became the cause of how she led Grace.

As leaders, we all have these kinds of perspectives which become the basis of our actions. We can say all we want, but the true revealer of what perspectives we hold, especially about our leadership role and intent, always comes out in how we use our role with those we lead. Stripped down to the core, leadership is about leading, and leading is about others. We don’t lead projects. We don’t lead goals. We certainly don’t lead outcomes. We lead people.

The question and answer are ours, every day, with every circumstance and with every person we encounter. What perspective do we want to define ourselves? It begins with first understanding our present perspective. To discover it absolutely requires honest assessment beyond just our own. Asking others frank questions about their experiences with us remains crucial. Use all of it, especially that which reflects failures and mistakes.

Once we have some honest clarity of our present perspective, where do we want to go from here? Remember, if we want to change, we must first believe something different and then do something different. Action without a heart change will be short-lived. We live from our internal world that we value.

As a leader, we can focus our energy, attention and power on drawing out the real truth of others despite their experiences. That’s the honor we have before us. But to do that and do it consistently means that we understand our own value and worth of how we matter. Our innate worth and value is more real than all the experiences we have combined. Let’s have that perspective as leaders and help each other believe that as we work together and serve each other.

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November 4, 2022

Honest Character Assessment

By Mark Francis

Personal character, especially as a leader, will always define the kind of impact we have on those we lead. Sound emphatic? Yes. Why? Our personal skills and abilities, the stuff that gets work done, while important, only becomes positive, engaging, and desired when we relate to others with character that builds, supports, encourages, and honors. Put another way, when we put anything else above those we work with – profits, results, success – we leave a deposit in their hearts of mistrust, dishonor, and a devaluing of their own worth. Even worse, when our words and actions don’t connect, the hypocrisy is devastating to relational truth, trust, and connection.

Let’s make this real. Which would you want in your life? A leader who can get things done despite their non-valuing treatment of you and others; or, one who makes priority and leads (mostly by their action) with their ability to help you believe you are valued and important? Asking yourself how you want to be led is insightful, and an important step towards defining yourself as a leader.

So, which kind of leader have you been to present? To answer honestly takes truth principles that can go past our own personal story we rehearse in our heads about ourselves and point to what’s real. Most, if not all of us, tend to carefully craft personal stories of who we are based more on our intentions than our actions and behaviors those around us experience in real time. If we do this over and over, no wonder why we are not trusted or believed. In contrast, our desire and action to grow in honest assessment of ourselves becomes a key “truth teller” of the kind of impact we have as leaders. Here is one of these principles to consider…

How you relate to others on your worst day reflects a truer version of your real character than that on your best day.  MGF

Take a moment to reflect on past “worst/bad days”, and what came out of you in behavior to others around you. Add to your personal assessment what have others shared with you about what they experienced on these same days. Together, the consistent details now support a more accurate storyline of your character for those days. Now that you have a more accurate reality, you now have a choice in moving forward…

  • Revise the story line to justify your behavior (denial);
  • Ignore the story line and stay on the same relational trajectory with yourself and others (denial/apathy), or
  • Embrace what you discover as a truth to process towards change (accountability/ownership).  

Personal character assessment takes detailed honesty not only with ourselves personally, but also a willingness to embrace what others have experienced from us. All circumstances, especially those we would call our “worst days”, can be catalysts for celebration (when we treat others well) AND growth (when we don’t). To value yourself means to live authentically valuing others in both your internal and external lives, no matter the circumstances, and to challenge ourselves to change when we don’t. Let’s encourage each other as valued leaders wanting to grow with more honest character assessment and change.

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October 23, 2022

Unlocking Creative Vision

By Mark Francis

Leading others impacts all of us, whether we are leading or being led. In general, all leadership can be defined in one of two ways: Leadership through influence that inspires (serving others), or Leadership through positional authority.

What does each look like in real life? The first values freedom for others to become their best selves with opportunity, while the second uses power to motivate action based on stated consequences. Yes, both gets results. Beyond this, though, how are those under either leadership model connected to you as a leader? Put another way, what is the result of your leadership upon their heart? Your “leadership lifestyle”, or how you lead on a regular and consistent manner (i.e. actions arise from internal values) defines this relational truth. As such, creativity within those you lead becomes tied to this result.

The role of one’s heart and motivation, I believe, remains greater than most will consider in their personal leadership lifestyle. How so? Consider a key component for any organization/company — VISION. How one leads dramatically impacts the lens by which vision is seen, and subsequently, carried out.

Take a moment to consider the following quotes and the kind of “vision” that arises:

“If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up the men to gather wood, divide the work and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea.” — Antoine de Saint-Exupery

“If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said: FASTER HORSES.” — Henry Ford

“What you yearn for will be what drives you to explore.” — Mark Francis

Our personal sphere of leadership will be dramatically impacted by our personal leadership lifestyle, especially towards how we help unlock creativity in those we lead. Creativity needs freedom to thrive, as well as opportunities to explore. As leaders, are we creating that environment? Without, vision will diminish and become nothing more than a sign on the wall.

Here are few ideas/thoughts that could serve as a beginning point in your own self-reflection:

> If you ask for input from your team, give value to it (beyond just a “Thank You”) – even using a portion of it building increasing trust that vision is a collaborative effort.

> When a process is not being successful, seek first to find out what it is not being self-corrected by those involved – Training gap, relational disconnection, loss of confidence, etc.

> Consistently communicate and demonstrate room for “failing forward” – using failure to drive creativity, not diminish it.

> Appeal consistently to one’s heart and importance over the rule of command/process – if your team feels they are present only for your personal success, you will lose their creativity and their heart for you.

> Ask open-ended questions for discovery – highlight the unknown and its value for driving exploring.

In our fast-paced world and ever-changing circumstances, our ability as leaders to value and support personal creativity in our teams will many times make the difference between short or long-term success.

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September 27, 2022

Growing Through Challenges

By Mark Francis

Ask yourself this question – When I’m faced with a challenge, either with myself, others or circumstances, what is my initial reaction?

  • Do I judge it as a weakness or failure with drama?

Or…

  • Do I focus on it being an opportunity for changing something towards greater growth and success? 

We likely all have responded in both ways. The key question lies in the pattern of our gut-level reaction. Our ability to walk in truthful self-awareness of our reactions will in fact dictate what we emphasize and focus on during these moments. Excellence in all forms arises from seeing challenges as stepping stones to something greater.

Embracing and strengthening a “growth” perspective is largely a daily choice. As such, what we practice becomes our “nature”. Impactful leaders cultivate a growth-oriented perspective which is vital to sustainable success.

Need some practice tips? Here are a few to help – I’m sure you will think of others:

  • Calibrate your Emotions – Our feelings are part of us yet, cannot lead us. They can be a window into our hearts and the beliefs we hold about what is around us. A strong reaction can be an important tip off of something deeper to be explored personally. However, when dealing with yourself, others or even circumstances, keep them in check.
  • Embrace Changes – Life ceases to be such without change. From the moment we were conceived, life reflects an on-going expression of change. This includes our internal lives of our heart, mind and will. The one constant we experience is that life will not be constant. We can make change a part of our decisions (causing growth) or contend against it and stay stuck.
  • Value the Long-term – While we all experience life “in the moment”, a long-term vision helps us hold our moments with the weight they deserve. Even in moments of great impact, whether joy-filled or intensely painful, the capacity we all have to weave these into a larger life story depends on how we hold them. We can get stuck in moments and define all of our life by them. In contrast, we can make them but a part of other moments towards something greater or even different.
  • Connect with your personal community – Our personal lives can only be fully experienced in connection with others. Isolated, personal reflection is certainly key to personal awareness and growth. However, the encouragements and support of those around us fill in and fill out what we understand of “ourselves”. If we are left to only ourselves, we become self-absorbed and self-centered humans who will disesteem others for the sake of me, myself and I. Focusing only on what others think of me devalues the reality of my uniqueness through personal awareness. Both are key for us to understand ourselves and how others relate to us. The feedback from both becomes an important, and needful opportunity for growth and change.

None of us are exempt from challenges. How we respond to them determines what kind of opportunity we embrace. As leaders, the stakes are even higher. The challenges we face and our ability to create growth from them defines both our role and effect on those we serve. Excellence arises as we recognize the best that can come from the challenges we encounter. Let’s make growth our choice!

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August 17, 2022

The Reflective Pause

By Mark Francis

Do you take regular reflective pauses?

Our ability to take a pause and reflect at any point in our daily routine or crisis circumstances
serves as an impactful indicator of both a growth mindset for our journey, and an enlarging
capacity for handling complex details. The more we normalize and value this response
internally, the greater our positive effect on our spheres of influence.

What is a “reflective pause”? Simply, it is a practiced discipline of moving from reaction to
responding after a deliberate pause to examine the truthful and provable details being
encountered. Many times, reactive behaviors spring forward quickly as a release of our
emotional state in the moment. Emotions are important to process and do have a role. In and
of themselves, however, they are the least effectual reason to base our responsive behavior
upon. Instead, responses based on what is true and real in circumstances will create the
greatest opportunity for appropriate, reasonable, and potentially helpful attitudes and
behaviors that can lead to positive interactions. The ability to ascertain what is both true and
real needs some level of examination beyond the actual moment. Pausing and reflecting on
these details can provide this outlook.

Why is this quality important, especially for relational leaders? For one, a leader who values
those they lead desires to build relationship based on truth. Discovery of what is true and real is
more important than even the expression of their own perspective or opinion. Two, these same
leaders also understand that a leadership lifestyle demands personal growth as part of the
journey. Otherwise, one’s capacity to be others-centered will eventually diminish as they fight
only for their own opinions. And lastly, relational leaders are well acquainted with the fact that
life experiences, especially with others, is rarely simple and straightforward, but rather complex
and messy. They desire an enlarging “capacity” within themselves to be able to handle more
and more complexity and messiness. Reactive living, as determined mostly by emotions and
limited understanding, diminishes each of these three areas over time. In doing so, leadership
impact shifts from serving and growing others to becoming more controlling and self-centered.

How can we grow this quality within us? Here are a few tips:

  1. Make it Important to You – Personal change begins with an internal shift of priorities
    and values. Choosing this quality as important reflects that first step.
  2. Practice in Routine – Make it a point to practice your pause and reflect during a normal
    day that has no particular crisis. That which you practice in times of normalcy will
    become a part of your life expression, especially in times of crisis.
  3. Explore Actions for Your personality – For some, their ability to pause and reflect can
    happen internally, no matter whose around. For others, they need to remove
    themselves and get alone to do so. Regardless of the manner, it will require both some
    time (pause) and critical evaluation (reflect) of the details. Create action based on how
    best you can do that right now.
  4. Follow up Questions – Be proactive to follow up with additional, clarifying questions to
    ascertain with greater confidence the truth and reality of the circumstances. Asking
    instead of assuming is the mark of a truth-seeker.
  5. Make a Decision – Depending on the events, a decision is needed, whether to remain
    quiet, offer counsel or direction, or even enter a type of conflict resolution process. As a
    leader, act on in some manner the outcome of your pause and reflection. Doing so
    reinforces its value for you personally.

Cultivating a reflective pause into our daily routines positions our hearts and minds to embrace
life and all its circumstance. Doing so gives us the constant opportunity to grow stronger,
deepen our courage and enlarge our outlook that life and relationship, even in crisis, remains a
gift of beauty, goodness, and wondrous expectation. Our world desperately needs this outlook.
In fact, each of us needs the encouragement of others like this too. Let’s do our part to be that
for others. You have permission – take your reflective pause. It will make all the difference.

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July 21, 2022

Our Lingering Presence

By Mark Francis

“The words, attitudes and actions we express become our presence in others when we are not around.” MGF

Consider a leader of your past that you hold with honor for their positive impact on your life. What do you feel about them? I suspect if you were to see them again today, these same feelings would spring to the forefront as you interact with them. In effect, even though years may have passed, their “presence” has remained with you through how they treated you in the past. That presence defines their life to you and how you would re-engage with them now.

Whether we are leaders or not, we all create this kind of “lingering presence” in every other human we interact with, whether intentionally or not. As such, the importance of paying attention to how we interact cannot be understated. Consistency of our attitudes/actions/words plays a key role in that which lingers as well as the frequency of our interaction. The more we interact, the more we reinforce the kind of presence we create.

As leaders, our lingering presence with those we serve becomes even more pronounced and impactful. Time together, expectations for results, conflict potential, and leadership styles all contribute to increased impact over time in a leadership environment. Realizing the outcomes of our leadership in the lives of others, in particular the kind of presence it creates, is in one way, our responsibility. I would hope we actually make it something greater — a willing priority out of respect for ourselves and for those we serve.

Determining this presence doesn’t have to be an unknown. We all have choices to help create and establish that which lingers in the perspectives of others. Here are a few choices we can make as part of our leadership journey to create the presence we want:

  • Identify Key Values – What are those qualities that are most important to you for defining your life and connecting with others?
  • Practice towards Consistency – Prioritize and drive your attitudes, actions and words with your key values.
  • Esteem Feedback – Ask regularly about what others are believing about you as outcomes of your leadership interactions.
  • Adjust Often – Be quick to own mistakes or failures and then make a change, as needed, to connect more accurately to your key values.

We all create lives that touch others. That which lingers as presence in those we lead depends on what we offer day in and day out. When a positive priority, leadership becomes a joyful encouragement in the lives of others. That’s a legacy worth the effort!

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